Reconciliation and Forgiveness

I've been thinking about reconciliation and forgiveness over the past week. I had the opportunity to witness first hand this happening between to two of my friends who I truly value, love, and I'm blessed to have in my life. Now, you thought I was about to put their business out there? Come on, I'm not THAT person, but it has been cool to hear them talk about each other with love and sincerity. Yes, stuff went on between them, feelings were hurt, but in God's perfect timing, healing definitely has been evident with my friends. Just yesterday having the opportunity to serve one of them and just see God's hand working ROCKS!!!! I, too have recently been able to reconcile with one of my friends who I prayed daily that the Lord would restore our friendship. I missed having her in my life. Again, my timing and God's timing definitely didn't match up! I needed to be broken in a lot of areas within my relationship with Him before I could come back to the friendship. Yes, I was once again humbled by my sin, and how stupid and selfish I was being. With the wonderful conviction of the Holy Spirit smacking that much needed sense into me. It really took one of our friend's untimely death to have us realize that God has us in each others life for a specific reason. So, reconciliation, forgiveness, and God's healing began in October 2008! PRAISE GOD!!! So, I write this blog to say that no matter how long it takes if it's days, weeks, months or years, TRUE RECONCILIATION CAN AND WILL HAPPEN!!! I will testify to that! When I just get out of God's way and let Him get a hold of my broken heart, HE WILL HEAL IT!!!
Reconciliation and forgiveness is some GOOD STUFF!!!!!

So this is what I've been thinking about.....

Since my last blog, alot has happened I know that I need to write more of it down. I AM IN AWE OF WHAT GOD IS DOING IN MY LIFE & IN THE LIVES OF MY BROTHERS & SISTAS IN CHRIST!!! I don't know how to express it anymore clearly. I'm here to be used by the God of Creation to LOVE, ACT, SERVE, and SHARE HIS GOSPEL! So, you may be acting yourself with is up with this girl, well friends I've discovered more within this new year of 2009 that there is true FREEDOM when you surrender completely to the Lord. I have struggled for decades of trying to figure out who I was more so struggling with an identity in Christ and not in myself. Let me tell you has been an ongoing spiritual battle, but as we completed an amazing bible study in my small group "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla Shirer, I was beginning to hear from the Holy Spirit and as I listened He was saying that I needed to change. My heart was convicted, but in the best way, because it has drawn me closer to HIM! As I always say I'm NOT perfect and have it all figured out with my relationship with the Lord, but friends I'm at a place where I WANT TO KNOW MORE OF CHRIST and to develop an intimate relationship with Him. I use to play being spiritual back in high school when I went to a small Christian school from 7th grade to 12 grade and it had it's good moments , but there was a lot of negatives that came out of it. Yes, legalism was evident and I'm going to as it, and take responsibility for it that I was a hypocrite back in high school. I'm not going to call out others who I attended Christian Central Academy with, but I believe I became serious after attending there and going through some major life events, where I couldn't play church and really needed to be broken before the Lord with all my junk. My heart has changed tremendously from 1993 to now. Going to Syracuse University I was thrown into the real world, which I could now longer be sheltered by my cookie-cutter suburbia and happy go lucky mentality, which entailed a lot of fakeness. I was meeting people from all cultures, religions, those trying to figure out their sexuality dealing with some crazy stuff. These were people who lived their lives and a lot of them were without Christ's saving grace and love, but they embraced and loved me more then some of those those who I went to high school with. It became clear and with having a lot of time to witness some craziness, God became REAL in my life. I stopped playing church and living a double life, and I surrendered my life to Him! Wholeheartedly. It's amazing what He teaches you when you are so vulnerable and broken! So this is what I've been thinking about. There is more, believe me and I'm willing to share it with whoever wants to hear it.
Tressa :)

My thoughts about this week so far.....

So...I've been thinking about service and how President Obama is calling on us as a nation to begin helping our fellow man. It's so cool how God works, because as Todd Phillips, teaching pastor of Frontline is going through our 4 core values on Sunday he spoke about our core value #3 "Serve". That is one of the area within our body as a church which is lower in numbers, Yes, we are growing, and connecting with each other within small groups, but why do we limit ourselves in serving others? Again, as I sat there on Sunday night sitting in a row with people who I consider to be are very important to me and who I'm living life together with as a believer, KNOW I'm called to something more. I want to be stretched, and the Lord has blessed me and my brothers and sistas in Christ with amazing spiritual gifts which are to be used to serve and share the gospel. Hmmm.....I'm ready and I know within the next week God is going to raise up others with me to begin servicing the Washington Metropolitan and internationally for His glory!!!

Onto Inauguration day. 1/20/09. I was up at 1:30am watching Oprah's pre-inaugural show taped earlier in the day and as I'm watching the celebrities, listening to Vice-President elect Joe Biden and his wife Jill speak, and hearing the song "America's Song", I'm was getting more excited about what is going to be happening in a few hours from now, HISTORY, and I was going to be a part of it! I know that there are a lot of people who aren't happy about the outcome of the Presidential election and that is fine, but I'm just saying today, stop being upset and start being a person of CHANGE! I don't want this to come off in a negative way, but stop complaining and do something! Everyone in our country and around the world witnessed and were a part of a time that will be recorded in the the history books. I want to be able to tell my children that I was a person of CHANGE and I did something of purpose. If you dream and strive you can do great things too. Since coming back from Rwanda in May 2008, and serving with a phenomenal team ( Dave, Lauren, Steve, Becky, Tina, Jung, Lisa, and Jamin), as well as with the ROCK STARS of World Relief (Myal, Kijucka Thomas, and Phil and Becca Smith, and other awesome people) with MBC's church partnership, I've been struggling with where I'm suppose to be serving. I witnessed firsthand extreme poverty in Rwanda and Kenya, then coming back I went through a difficult re-enter process but now as I see that I've been blessed with being born in a country where I can help those who are considered the "least of these" and I'm humble and in awe of how I'm currently going to be used. My voice with others who have discovered their calling and purpose, can be encouraged and challenged to strive for greatness. President Obama had to sacrifice and endure a lot, with first being an African American man, but he did it and now he is getting ready to lead this country which I'm proud to be a citizen of. I guess as I watched and took in all of the inaugural coverage throughout the day and listening to President Obama's speech which so eloquently put it that it is time to dust ourselves off, get up and realize that we are not a defeated country. We may have some big wounds and bruised that we are facing that include war, the financial crisis, and the dire state of our environment , BUT I know we are a country that will continue to be strong during our time of trials and adversity. I will not forget today for it will be a constant reminder that it's time for me and those who are running with me in this journey called life as we are the ones called by the Lord to act, serve, love, and share. It's a lot to take in but I just wanted to share.

Tressa :)

It's SO not about me!

So, I was suppose to go to Columbus, OH and visit my cousin and his girlfriend this past weekend. Don't get me wrong I was excited, but then I was watching the weather and there was going to be some nasty weather there. I also felt as if the Lord wanted me to be in VA this particular weekend. So I called my cousin and left a message on his voice mail that I wouldn't be coming.I have a good weekend, I was productive and had a chance to hang out with my college roommate, Amy. She makes me laugh SO much, I truly value our friendship. We went to the movies with Paul and Kyle, saw "JUMPER" the special effects rocked, but the story line was a little bit blah!!!! So, Saturday was good and I chilled at the homestead. Sunday comes and I was overly pumped about going to Frontline, don't know why but as I sat down and the service began and Todd walked up and exampled the format of the service, Philippians in its entirety, but wait for it........the service incorporated the word, graphics, and music in an AWESOME way. I was truly BLESSED during the service and after. YES!!!!! FL is taking us as a body of believers to a whole new level. I'm EXCITED about it because I believe that we are going to a place where the Lord is going to ROCK US ALL!!!!! It's uncomfortable for me, but I know it's going to be the best place for me to be along with my brothers and sistas who are serious and passionate about SHINING IN THIS AREA FOR GOD'S KINGDOM!!!! I, once again am in AWE of all that is going on around and how the Lord is moving!! I'm PUMPED!!!!!

This isn't about me any more and it has taken me a long time to discover this fact. It's all about GOD!!!!!!! My agenda, my plans mean nothing. I'm at the place it's about what the Lord wants now. Todd has talked about selflessness, and I'm coming to a better place with understanding and living that out.
When "Shine" was played by Steph Cuomo and the worship band the song hit me hard. I want to SHINE now!!!!! The words are powerful and I highly recommend the new
Passion: God of This City CD to everyone! I'm currently listening to it and it ROCKS!!!!!!

SHINE~ Matt Redman
Lord we have seen the rising sun, awakening the early dawn,
And we´re rising up to give you praise.
Lord we have seen the stars and moon, see how they shine,
They shine for you,
And You´re calling us to do the same.
So we rise up with a song, and we rise up with a cry
And we´re giving you our lives.

We will shine like stars in the universe,
Holding out Your truth in the darkest place.
We´ll be living for Your glory,
Jesus we´ll be living for Your glory.
We will burn so bright with Your praise O God,
And declare Your light to this broken world.
We´ll be living for Your glory,
Jesus we´ll be living for Your glory.

Like the sun so radiantly
Sending light for all to see,
Let your holy church arise
Exploding into life,
Like a supernova´s light,
Set your holy church on fire;
We will shine.

Which side of the bridge are you looking at today?

As I was making my drive into DC for work yesterday I saw some really amazing. It was just another day kickin' it in the wonderful VA traffic on 395 North and as I crossed the 14th street bridge I looked to my right the sky was a dark cloudy, gray, as if at any moment it was going to rain down on all of us. Then I looked to the left and what I saw was a beautiful blue sky, and the clouds had dissipated, with the sun shining down. I thought about how I view my life and my relationship with the Lord. At times my life is stormy and gray, and I'm a miserable FUNKY MESS!!!!! But as I've allowed myself to rest in the Lord, those cloudy days can change becoming clear and beautiful as the Lord removes those clouds and begins to shine HIS LIGHT in my life. Which side of the bridge are you looking and living in right now?

"Strive to Trust Me"

I began reading an awesome devotional my wonderful friend and Godly woman, Lynette gave me for Christmas "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. It's about enjoying Peace in His presence. The devotionals are in first person as God is speaking to me, so as I'm up at 12:13am writing in my journal and just struggling through some stuff, I open it up for today's devotional January 22 and I wanted to share it with you:
"STRIVE TO TRUST ME in more and more areas of your life. Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity. Instead of running away from these challenges, embrace them, eager to gain all the blessing I have hidden in the difficulties. If you believe that I am sovereign over every aspect of your life, it is possible to trust Me in all situations. Don't waste energy regretting the way things are or thinking about what might have been. Start at the present moment-accept things exactly as they are- and search for My way in the midst of those circumstances.

Trust is like a staff you lean on, as you journey uphill with Me. If you are trusting in Me consistently, the staff will bear as much of your weight as needed. LEAN ON, TRUST, AND BE CONFIDENT IN ME WITH ALL YOUR HEARTS AND MIND. Psalms 52:8, Proverbs 3:5-6 (Amp)"

Yes, I was convicted once again, to just TRUST, not to run away or give up on the people or circumstances. I NEED TO TRUST AND LEAN ON HIM through those difficult situations!

Out of the valley, now I'm on the mountain with God

I've come a long way. I'm just sayin'! This week has been frustrating, but good. It began rocky, but God divinely set it up that even through my frustration people who truly love me to help me see how AWESOME He really is in my life. I was talking to my best friend Heather on Wednesday, which is our official phone day, since we had fallen out of contact with each other. I truly love her, and I'm blessed to have her in my life. Before we ended the conversation she said that she notices a change in me and granted we haven't seen each other in about 2 years, it was in my voice. She heard true joy and excitement about my relationship with the Lord. She also stated that the burden of my parents' craziness has been lifted and it was evident. She has been through a lot with me and my folks and the hell that I have been through because of it. I'm free, because I came to the realization that I CANNOT and DO NOT need to have their struggles. OH, YES I'M PRAISING HIM!!!!! As Heather said, "You've finally come out of the valley that you were living in for so long." Yes, and I'm on the mountain with God just chillin' and allowing my life to be ROCKED by Him!!!!!! Even when it becomes crazy in my life I don't have to resort to that helpless place which usually leads to a FUNK, but now I stay close to the Lord, because HE'S got this thing called LIFE under His control, so I know that I'm going to be ok! FREEDOM!!!!! I'm loving it!!!!!!!